


The Best Of Me (Is In Your Reflection)

by van_daalen



Series: Nature Versus Nurture [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 06:42:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11731620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/van_daalen/pseuds/van_daalen
Summary: From the day she was torn from her mother's embrace and thrown to the Sith, Eldarra has learned to hide inside of herself- to always wear the angry guise of the dark side of the force. It takes a strange Twi'lek, months of effort, and the comfort of privacy to get her to take that mask off. But when she does... she knows that the things Vette brings out in her make her far more free than the force ever could.





	The Best Of Me (Is In Your Reflection)

**Author's Note:**

> It's almost been a year since I wrote anything Star Wars related, so I must apologize for being a bit rusty.

    There’s a split second where she swears she can see the other woman grin. It’s so fleeting that she’s certain she wouldn’t have seen it if she hadn’t been looking for it, if she hadn’t known the bearer for so long. She’s more than used to Eldarra’s micro-reactions. The slivers of smiles, slight inhales preventing a chuckle, the tiniest of flashes within the Sith’s eyes… they all reveal her real personality. Almost everything else, as Vette has learned, is a facade. A ruse to prevent others from realizing just how much she’s fallen into the light, just how close she is to skipping out on the Empire. Honestly neither of them are even sure that it’s working. Yet Eldarra still only relaxes in private, only taking off her figurative mask for Vette.

    At times like this, where the Sith has her hands physically wrapped around another’s throat, the mask is one of the scariest things either of them have ever seen. For Vette, it reminds her of how close she was to being a monster’s slave. For Eldarra, it taunts her with the image of what she was ‘meant’ to be, what she’ll turn into if her resolve ever runs out. Sometimes the rage that burns in her eyes feels too real. Those are the nights where Vette catches her staring into the void of space, gaze too far gone, one palm less than an inch from the glass, thrumming with energy, half a shake away from dooming them all. Neither of them know who’s more scared in those moments- and maybe that’s why they never talk about them.

    What they do discuss, occasionally, is the rare moments where the mask provides amusement.

    “ _It’s amazing what people will do when a Sith threatens them,_ ” Eldarra will say, acknowledging both her title and species. Usually she cracks a grin at that, twirling a few rocks or a stylus around her fingers, or maybe toying with the latest trinket from their adventures.

    “ _It’s amazing what Sith will do when people don’t do everything they ask,_ ” Vette always replies, recalling scars and shocks, yet still letting her lips curl up a little. Less at the memories of pain, more at the knowledge that she ‘got stuck’ with someone who actually cares for more than just herself.

    What happens after that varies. Sometimes Quinn or one of the others will need something, and Eldarra will switch back to a perfect visage of anger with ease, as if it was all she knew. Other times, the times where Vette lets herself relax, they’ll have the freedom to be themselves for a while longer. They’ll speak of their pasts or dreams of the future, and pretend that there’s nothing to get in their way. One of them will make a joke that’s not even terribly funny, but they’ll both laugh about it until their sides are sore. Then their gazes will meet, the very definition of softness, and they’ll both succumb to a peaceful silence. Breaking it is never easy, but Eldarra can never help herself. She always ends up freezing, noting, for the first time in the whole affair, that her mask is absent, that she’s being _herself_ , that she’s _free_ from what the Sith have tried to make her be.

    And the weight of that knowledge makes her crumble.

    Still, she lasts longer every time, always getting closer to actually escaping her shackles. She tells herself that it’s due to her growing power over the force, as well as the influence of the dozens of planets she’s visited. But it’s never been those things that have granted her the strength she’s needed. No, of course not. It hadn’t been until Vette had worked up the courage to ask for a one-on-one conversation that Eldarra had been able to drop the mask. Without the Twi’lek, she would have fused with it by now, inseparable from her disguise. In all of her darkest hours, it was _Vette_ that kept her from letting the light die. She did little without the woman by her side. The woman who had seen her true face, seen the care she had hidden within herself, and knew that she had every chance to let it blossom. Eldarra could never bring herself to give in to the mask… not while Vette still had faith in her. Even though no one else would know, even though it was only the two of them who understood her conflict, she couldn’t let her friend down. Couldn’t stand the flicker of disappoint in the Twi’lek’s eyes.

    At times like this, when the part of her mind she loathes urges her to squeeze the life out of her victim, she finds the willpower to glance in Vette’s direction. She sees the worry- _knows_ that Vette saw her smile, noticed the _pleasure_ that the darkness brought her. And that’s what stops her, what makes her drop the man, makes the mask loosen its grip upon her soul.

    “You’re no use to me dead, _worm_. Now return to your post- I’ll send a runner to explain your next task soon,” she growled. Within seconds the man was gone, leaving her alone with Vette. Instantly she feels her shoulders relax. She pulls in a slow, shaky breath, and runs a hand through her hair, desperate to soothe her nerves. It’s not until Vette speaks that she truly feels calm again, however.

    “Geez, I didn’t think he could run that fast. Might’ve just broken the Empire’s land speed record.” They both chuckle at that, and Eldarra sends the woman an appreciative look. As much as she wants to fall to her knees, thank her over and over again for saving her from herself, she knows that a smile is all she can give for now. There’s still a mission for them to finish. This quiet moment, this soft reflection, is all they can spare before the mask must return. They both know that- even if they leave it unsaid. “Well, I guess we better get going, boss. The world’s not going to destroy itself, after all.”

    Another laugh, another smile, both far softer than the last. Then the mask returns, and Eldarra can only hope that Vette will always be there for her- always reflecting the best parts of her.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a writing challenge on Tumblr, for days 5 (Friends) and 6 (A fandom you love but don't write for).


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